I remember when I was pregnant the first time; all of the books
I read and the classes I had gone to told me to be prepared. That at some point
while giving birth there was going to come a moment where I‘d lose all inhibitions.
My clothes may fall off and I may say things I would not usually say. There would
be no pride.
I feel like someone should have warned me about this time in
life. As a new chapter is taking place. The old me is falling off. I am losing inhibitions. My pride is drifting away.
I say things I would not have normally said. Like,” I love you. I am sorry. I can’t
fix that. I don’t know. You are amazing.” I don’t feel the sadness or envy I
use to have when I was around great people. Instead I find myself loving every
moment of it. They teach me and I get to watch their shine instead of trying to
steal it for myself.
As I get older the young me starts to slough away. A new me
begins to emerge. I am starting to see me. Not the someone I wish I were but ME
.
It’s funny. The young
me is still there inside. The girl that liked to sing and dance in the privacy
of her own room. The strong willed nature loving girl. The girl who could eat a
whole chocolate cake in one sitting. I still love to get a new outfit for that “special
occasion” Yet, the wrinkle in the middle of my forehead, the dimples in my
legs, the large pores and the graying hair on my head leaves not much evidence
that she ever existed.

I vow until the day there is no longer a tick only a flat
line, this heart will LOVE more boldly.
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