Monday, November 24, 2014

Believing God is Always Better than Sitting in your Fears

I relish in this time of year.  Something about the heavy snow that falls and fire that rumbles from the stove. It quiets my soul.

Yesterday was our churches annual Prayer and Praise service. I look forward to this all year. It’s a time where people from our local body give praise to God for the way He has moved in their lives. Stories of how God comforted, healed and was present. How God was Faithful and how He has provided. Reminders of how God is in control.  Our God, he is good and merciful. HE is trustworthy.

Later in the evening was a pie social and we decorated for Christmas. The MountainBoys hung lights and played elbow tag with some of their guy friends.

In the distance sat a group of girls. By the end of the night they had mustered the courage to ask for the MountainBoys numbers. There was laughing and flushed cheeks as everyone exchanged text messages and left for home. Five minutes into the drive up the mountain, I heard the sound of a text message notification in the back seat.

This unexpected turn of events at the Pie Social had me terrified.

I thought back to the young teenage girl I use to be. I was desperate for LOVE. Always, looking for it anywhere I could find it. Could it be found in the hand of a young teenage boy? Maybe I could find it in the backseat of his car. If I let him kiss me, then surely he LOVED me. If I let it go a little further then he could never leave me. Could he? AND they did. EVERY TIME. The self-destructive cycle continued for most of my teenage years.

I believe it was the prayers of my friends and their parents that turned things around for me.
By God’s grace I met MountainMan, a good man from the beginning. Respectful and caring.  He never asked me for anything in exchange. It took many dates before he held my hand or kissed me.

These thoughts while driving the canyon left me desperate for God. Praying specifically for these girls that were now texting my MountainBoys.

I am praying for myself as well. I ache to be a good mother. When time calls I long to be a good mother-in- law as well. Whether my son dates a girl for a short time or makes her his wife. I want to make sure I am loving her. Right where she is at. Trusting that God is all powerful. Letting the Spirit do its work. Because I am flawed and at times cannot see past skin or sin. God can.

Believing God is better than sitting in my fear. If I don’t trust in God, step out of the boat and rest my foot on the Water. I risk ruining people. Girls. My boys. My future family. So, I take a deep breath and do it differently than woman in my past. I rest in God. I trust Him with my boys hearts, minds and souls. I continue to be reminded they are not my possessions. They are God’s.

I will choose to LOVE these girls. I will let these experiences grow friendships. AND I will pray fiercely to God that he will bring peace, gratitude, provision and LOVE into the middle of my fears.  

What about you? Were you terrified when the possibility of dating arrived with your kiddos? Give me your advice. I need it!!

No comments :

Post a Comment