Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Lock and Key {6 things I know for sure about relationships}

Just for kicks I have been studying 1 Corinthians. Funny how God intertwines all sorts of  materials to whisper his will for you. How the Spirit convicts in so many different ways. I am learning about relationships. Boundaries. Forgiveness. Selflessness.

 I have had a really challenging relationship {call it a thorn in my side}. It seems no matter how hard I have tried in this relationship; Forgiven. Forgotten. Communicated. Served. Sacrificed. Yelled. Slandered. Plotted. Given up. Prayed. Ignored. Repented. Begged. Tried to live in peace for pete's sake. Nothing has worked. I have sought professional counseling for this relationship. Other relationships have been damaged because of this disunion. Hearts hurt. All because this other person and I can not seem to get along. I really can't tell you where it went wrong. I can't pinpoint the problem. Maybe that's what drives me so crazy.

A much as I have begged God to heal this relationship; immediately. It doesn't happen. I read recently that if God is not changing your situation, maybe he is trying to change your heart. I believe that is what he is doing. I have been pushed in ways no other situation could. For that, I am grateful.

This tough relationship has taught me thefollowing:

  • Forgiveness is not forgetfulness: To forgive is to not wish harm on others. You are not out there seeking revenge on your own. You decide to release your feelings of resentment and vengeance. God promises to fight for you. Revenge is his. Romans 12:19. Forgiveness is not glossing over the problem and forgetting that it ever happened..
Forgiveness is a process

  •  Be kind and Do good. How you make others feel says a lot about you. Period. Your. Words.{written or spoken} Make a difference. Your .Smile. Makes a difference. If you know what it feels like to be treated rudely. To not be greeted. To be treated like you don't even exist. Then I pray that you also know what it feels like to be indulged and accommodated. To know how it feels to have someone reach down in your weary soul and make it live. Be that person. Give without hesitation.  I don't want to ever make some one feel like they are not worth kindness. I have realized that those that are unkind, need my kindness most.  

  • Succeed and Build. Don't stop accomplishing your dreams. Keep succeeding. Whatever you are doing, do it to the best of your ability. Don't let the nastiness, intended harm and hatred from someone else stop you. You have to continue doing what God wants you to do. EVERYDAY. Be obedient.  What they do will be brought to light. In the mean time. If my "enemy" needs something. I will be there to give it. If they were thirsty, I would give them something to drink. Glorify God.
 Haters gonna Hate Proverbs 9:8.

  • BE HONEST:There is never any need for slander, gossip or back biting. This is just proof of character flaws. There is no need to go around and try to win others to "your side". Let your character speak for itself. That means no gossip. no slander. no back biting. 
But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, MALICE, SLANDER,and obscene talk from your mouth Colossians 3:8

  • BE HAPPY AND LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE:Don't play the victim card. Listen you are not responsible for people.  However you are responsible to people. Happiness is your responsibility. Your attitude. feelings. beliefs. behavior. choices. values. limits. talents. thoughts. desires.LOVE. is your responsibility. At the end of my life I will stand before my God. Responsible for me. Did I use what God gave me to the best of my ability? OR Did I hide it under rancid bitterness?

  •  ABOVE ALL ELSE GUARD YOUR HEART.Instead of walls and fortresses around my heart ,I choose to have a gate. I will guard it. I hold the lock. I hold the key. Let those in that are kind. Loving. Want the best for you. Give yourself permission to give less of yourself to those who are less then loving. Give yourself permission to release toxic relationships. The emotional attachments that you make determines the course of your life. Choose LOVE.
So if you find yourself in a tough relationship.  Let me encourage you to let it refine you not define you. Smooth your rough edges away and let God shine through you. 

How about you? Have you ever had a challenging relationship? Has it healed? What brought the healing? This will be a miracle from GOD {isn't it always?}. I pray this is His will. 

Jehovah Rophi. I call to you for healing in this relationship.God, help me to know when to pursue and when to back down. Help me to know when to forgive, when to give up my bitterness. Let me know when to speak and when to listen. Let me know when to open up and when to guard myself. God, I give you this relationship. Heal it in your time. Let us learn from it, what you want us to learn from it. Help me to love well. Reflect you well. Forgive me  for my ugly part in this bad relationship. Thank you for your conviction. In Jesus Name, Amen.


  1. You are such a beautiful writer Misty with a beautiful heart. I am blessed to have you as a friend. Thank you for always being an inspiration to me. Love you!

  2. Ahhh... DeAnn!! I am the blessed one. Thank you for reading :)