If you know anything about me you know that I am out numbered in my home. Ratio of 3/4. It is man city around here. Lot's of grunts and and farts. Tarzan mating calls and WWF announcements. God gave me boys. God gave our family ONLY boys. That's right. I have 5 nephews. Not one single girl.
That's why LOVE and I take the job of raising these man-childs very serious. When they were first born LOVE and I set up some "rules" for our little hero's.
#1 They would LOVE God. I mean LOVE Him. Not just go to church and say they love Him because Dad and Mom do. BUT LOVE Him. With all their hearts, mind and souls.
#2 They would be a blessing to other's. They will have manners. They will be respectful. They will be disciplined. They will treat others equally.They will be compassionate. They will be gentlemen. They will have integrity. They will be responsible for their own actions.
# 3 They would be leader's. Don't follow the "in" crowd. Be yourself. You are unique. God made YOU for a PURPOSE, that no one else can fill.
#4 Live life to the fullest. Live life on purpose. Have a plan. Take risks. You only have one life. LIVE it!!We don't want children who do things half ass. If your going to do it. Put your heart into it.
#5 Have FUN. Enjoy life. It's not all about the things you obtain and the money in the bank. It's about experience. People you meet. Memories you make.
That's it.
I would love to say that we stayed true to those the last 13 years of parenting. We haven't. As you know there has been a stretch of time where money was everything. Our little men caught on to that. There has been times we have been cruel to others. Held on to things and stuff to long when God is beckoning us to take the ride of our lives. For the most part though. We have tried to stick to them. We have taught them to take risks. To LOVE God. To be a blessing to others. To take the high road.I am told often that they are such gentlemen.
My PUNKS are one "those" kids. (soon to be one of the "unschooled" children) Rarely trying to fit in. Really a blessing to most people (except the neighbor, who hates night games that start way after those children should be in bed)
This is why I am so MAD!!!
Oldest punk is being bullied. Momma bear is PISSED!! I want to go find this rugrats mother and rip her face off. Literally. If you knew me back in the day, you know that I was a fighter. I too was bullied in elementary and jr. high. One day I had enough. I hit a boy square in the gut!! Then I never stopped. I was angry. I fought all the time. I fought at the local school playground. Grocery stores. Gas stations. Vacations. Barbecues. Weddings. I fought the night of my highschool graduation after the ceremony. I fought a girl the 2nd date with LOVE. I fought. I will fight this mother!!!!!
CRAP. WWJD?
Well HE would probably do what the oldest PUNK is doing. Being PRUDENT. Cause Momma didn't raise no fool!!
PROVERBS 12:16
A FOOL SHOWS HIS ANNOYANCE AT ONCE, BUT A PRUDENT MAN OVERLOOKS AN INSULT.
Can I tell you this annoys me? I want him to go beat the crap out of this kid. 'Cause I know he can!! Tell me. What do you do when it comes to your precious child and bullies? What do you do when you know what God wants you to do but you BELIEVE your way is better? Seriously. I am seeking counsel!!!
This kid has obviously not been properly introduced to you - I still remember the time you sat down two gansta types that wouldn't keep it a lid on it at a movie back in the day. Being a boy I would have thought it to be my job but I was just trying not to spill my popcorn.
ReplyDeleteSo I know nothing and with two boys on the way I'll be asking you all for advice but these are my thoughts...
Pray, pray for the other boy as a family.
Pray for the boy's family - I'll bet he's parroting behavior he is learning at home.
Having prayed for him your boy will be able to look on him outside of himself - more detached from the situation and better able to respond as he would like.
Continue to be prudent - it will outlast the boy's attention span every time.
Finally know that part of being prudent is the wisdom to know if a line has been crossed the other kid can be stopped. That may even mean one knuckle sandwich. Now where is that line...
Thanks Kev. Prayer is huge. You truly are a Rad Dad!! Those boys are so lucky to have you guys as parents. I totally forgot about the movies... How did I ever get friends as cool as you guys? Praying for your safe return and ALL your blessed children. P.S. thanks for all the updates. I have really been enjoying following along on your blog.
DeleteHey sweety, we have been dealing with the same thing with my son.it was 2 brothers ganging up on my son, and they singly ganged up also. we've talked to the parents (nothing changed). I even went to the principle at the school to see if his athorative figure could help stop the the fighting and bulling. Nothing has helped besides no contact between them, which is hard, they live 4 houses over.
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say I've decided that I can't change those kids or how their parents raise and discipline them. The only thing I can take care of is my son and lets just say he's not all innocent either. He's very honest with me. He's admitted he's gone fighting for pay backs and that he was pissed. But it always starts with the words that are hurtful.
In the end I feel I need to teach my kids that you only fight to defend off other physical force and the bulling words they are just words and they want a reaction out of you. So you should just walk away and that will show them they aren't worth listening to. I know easier said then done but if not they have to face me and I'm not a lenient mother. I've made them face humiliation by apologizing to their face and I tell him the next time could be the cops. I know that's extreme but its kind of the only scare tactic I have . He can learn the hard way how to deal or the easy.
I want my son to know how to give respect and more importantly how to act to receive it.
I know in my heart my son is one of the sweetest boys, he has such s Big heart and that's why the bulling words hurt so much. But I need him to take care of himself and not physically. I Love my kids and its the way I see best for them. Go with your gut and faith, I know your a great mother.
Love me!
Thanks for the encouragement. I know that my son is not always innocent. This has been an ongoing event all year. I'm just at my wits ends. Words are hurtful. His physical wounds will heal, it's the emotional ones I worry about.
DeleteMy oldest was bullied by a couple of girls for 3 years! I finally had enough, and after speaking to the teacher, I told her I just wanted to give them the stink eye! She said "do it!" because sometimes kids just need to know that an adult sees them and knows what they are doing. It helped, a little. I gave the little meanie a good stern, scary look of my own that said "I know what you've been doing, and I'm not going to put up with it!". It wouldn't hurt to talk to the parent, if that doesn't work, then go higher. The kid needs to know that his behavior is NOT acceptable! If it doesn't stop here and now, it will get worse for someone else and that kid could have a criminal future!
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