Don't hit back...

Sometimes when I am struggling the best thing for me to do is write. This is usually a quick jot in my journals. This morning I have been writing. Here are somethings that I am chewing on and I thought "maybe they could help someone out there too"

 

Relationship is hard work. People will hurt you, it's inevitable. The choice is who you give the key to your heart.

Relationship is supposed to give you a connection that makes you a better person.

You can LOVE without trusting. Work just as hard on yourself as you expect the other person to be working. Trust is a two way street.

How do you know if a past hurtful relationship is worth working on 1) is there confession 2) Is there ownership of the hurt that has been caused 3) Is there remorse. Not a guilty conscious but real remorse. 4) Is there change? OR does the same problem keep happening over and over again?

Does that other person surround themselves with other healthy people? Who are their other friends?

There is no rush back into a relationship that has been hurtful in the past.

As far as it lies with me I will conduct my life and relationships under God's rules for health and success in life.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18

Reference: Beyond Boundaries By Dr. John Townsend

The Invalid {Get up and take your Mat}

Yesterday, I am yapping with her, you know the BFF. I am telling her how there is a new birthing center that is opening here in my town. I whine "Dang it! I should have finished. I should have just got my certification with DONA" I tell her that I don't know this has happened to me. I didn't use to give up. I am a fighter and I usually finish everything I start. I am usually bloody and bruised by the end." She sighs and  states, "hmm... hmm... hmm.. that's interesting." My words left her dumb founded too.

*****
It was one of those moments that gets you pondering.   Lately (the last three years) I give up. If it starts to get hard I take it as a sign that I should be done. That maybe this isn't God's will for me. I chewed on this lie for the rest of the day and well into the night.

This morning as I began my praying, marking and reading out of John 5 it hit me. I am an invalid. I have been injured, bruised. and had the rug pulled out from beneath me.All that I thought was success was a lie and God showed me that.

Yet, this bruising has left me afraid. Afraid to move. Make big decisions. OR Finish what I start.

Afraid I am not in His will... Therefore I will fail

This is where my heart gets strangled. I have agreed with a lie that Satan has placed in my ear.

*****

The truth is Jesus saw me rolling around in my muck and He came to me. He released me from the yuck and the stuff. He brought me to this cocoon and has changed me. I need to stop laying here making excuses and listen to the fact that Jesus said "Get up! Take your mat and walk." Be brave and trust that I am in Gods will.