Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Twisted Sister

Twisted for His Glory. Gut wrenching change that twists and turns. All for His Glory. It starts with a little pain. Then it grows. Doors start to open. Other's close. People walk in, others walk out. 

Sometimes it starts with a conversation. Recently, it started with my feelings being hurt. She said I wasn't doing it right. It wasn't to her liking. It rubbed me wrong. I am not old, but I have had enough life to know that when it hurts, it's okay. There is change a coming. 

I try to lean into it. See what it is He wants me to see. This time He wanted me to see that there are other ways of doing it. That no matter my intention, HE uses it for HIS Glory. 

 Frightening, how things just start falling into place. Books recommended from strange sources. Conversations over heard. Words spoke directly at me. HIS Word, that said something so different this time. A heart wrenching phone call. A silent coffee with a friend. Prayer answered. that. I. doubted. when I muttered the words "Please God save her". And the plot twists in an unexpected turn. He used me.

I realize I am such an Israelite. Moses at best. Lord, not me. I can't do it. I run away. Push into the World. Spend how I want. My time. My money. Spew my black heart. Let my lips vomit what ever anger may rise. Doubt and fear. I hide. I am quiet. But they have prayed and I am made for such a time as this.
HE doesn't let this go on for long. HE pulls me back. AND I twist. My gut wrenches. My knees break. My heart sweats. My soul sways to HIS harmony. HIS woo. HIS mercy. HE never let me go.

I screw up. I say dumb things. I numb my mind. I judge to quickly. I say NO more times then I say Yes. He forgives and keeps moving me into HIS direction. To follow HIS plan. Because I serve a sovereign God. ONE I can trust. I know this is not the end. A new chapter awaits. I am ready for it I am have been prepped by the Almighty.

Twisted for HIS glory. Painful. Yet, so beautiful when HE is done.

----------->>>> What about you? Ever feel the gut wrench? Do you lean into it or do you run away? Do you have a verse you cling to? Do you trust HIM or yourself?

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