Short Sale Closing 411 days in the making and a pathetic tutorial on how to apply false lashes(I promise they are some how related)

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Say What!!! That is right, 411 days waiting, working, wondering, biting nails, yelling explicit's, negotiating, relisting, moving title companies, dozens of unanswered emails for this short sale to finally close. You May Remember This Door From Hello Monday If you have heard of short sales or ever experienced one.... I am not sure you have anything on this. In case you do have something on this one, I would love to hear it. I am always down for a good juicy real estate story. Anyway, most of my business for the last two years has been short sales, REO's, and HUD homes. I knew that the market was changing way back when so I got certified as a SFR. Yep, I am super official... I am an expert at short sales. Short sales are a long process (not usually 411 days long). It gets old for the sellers and real old for the buyers who have put in at least 10 offers on short sales. Then they wait and wait and wait for the investor to get back with them. I have to say, with me you don't just wait, I keep you informed. I am all over those banks like stink on .... well you get the picture. If there are two mortgages... well that is another beast. I can say that over the last few years a lot of the banks have gotten it together. They only work with one offer/ buyer  this speeds the process up. If you have good, patient clients, who listen to you for the most part and get you ALL of the documents the bank asks for... that really helps too. In this case these clients were more then patient and did everything I asked of them. What do you know, after 8 offers it worked. Actual File For privacy and such I am not allowed to go into all of details. BUT this file was insane. We had HOA liens that had NOTHING to do with the seller, and some lawyers that in my opinion got paid a lot of money for twiddling their thumbs, seriously!! The bank/ 3rd party was awesome and so was my escrow officer Bridgett Ellis at Monument Title (Yes, that was a plug). Until her underwriter decided they could not and should not insure this title. Aargh... you could have said something a little sooner then 2 days before closing!!We had to start all over again. This time we had to use a title company I would NEVER use again. Because I am a business owner and I don't support bad publicity, I won't mention names. I must say though if you ask to use this certain title company or bring their name up in passing, I will tell you just how I feel. It's not good.Not good allllllllll the way to the ending. Yes, I mean funding and recording and wiring... seriously woman!! I will say though, they got it done... in their own time... they let a buyer walk and then come back.... they got it done. For that I say THANK YOU, for all parties involved. Especially my totally awesome seller. Congratulations and well wishes for the next chapter in life, I hope to see you soon. So where do eyelashes come in?? See I was getting ready for the closing today. While putting on my mascara I realized my eyelashes looked ridiculous. I was born with some great eyelashes. But my sister in law started a business where she applies lash extensions. I am not going to lie, they were amazing. I really had a love affair with them. Being as emotional as I am, I could cry anytime and there was never the icky, black smudge rolling down my face. I would wake up in the morning and know I just looked fabulous. Lets not mention when I ran the Wasatch Back Ragnar, yeah I looked pretty fly.  Look at those Beauties Because I had worn them for 6 months give or take and some unforeseen circumstances... I no longer have these amazing lashes. BUT stubby eyelashes will not do. I know that is vain and I should love myself just the way God made me.... and I will once these baby lashes grow out (typical sinner right?). For now its all about the falsies baby!!  Poor baby lashes So for those of you who want amazing eyelashes but don't want to spend the dough, or you don't want to lay on your back while each individual lash is placed perfectly, just. for. you, or you just want to be like me and spice it up a bit (as my oldest punk once told some very dear friends of mine). Then read ahead and I am going to show you how to place a fabulous band of false lashes.  Gather your supplies . Apply your makeup just the way you want it. I use dark liner to hide the band. Poor baby lashes. Just so you know the eyelashes that come in the package are placed left to right. So if you put them in front of you this is how it would look. This is how you apply them.The one missing is for my right eye. Understand? They are a little sticky when you first gently pull them off the package. This allows you to play with them a little. Place them where you want. See this one wants to fall off. Then gently apply the glue. This is where the handy dandy toothpick comes in. I use it to spread the glue. You have to let the glue set for about 30-60 seconds. You want it tacky so that it will stick to your eye. Not slide around.  I have to use my fingers and some pointy tweezers to get them on just right. Get them really close to the lash line. Key point: use the tweezers to apply a little pressure on the flasies at the center and both corners of the lash line.  See the difference? Poor baby lashes.

Say What!!! That is right, 411 days waiting, working, wondering, biting nails, yelling explicit's, negotiating, relisting, moving title companies, dozens of unanswered emails for this short sale to finally close.

You May Remember This Door From Hello Monday

If you have heard of short sales or ever experienced one.... I am not sure you have anything on this. In case you do have something on this one, I would love to hear it. I am always down for a good juicy real estate story.

Anyway, most of my business for the last two years has been short sales, REO's, and HUD homes. I knew that the market was changing way back when so I got certified as a SFR. Yep, I am super official... I am an expert at short sales. Short sales are a long process (not usually 411 days long). It gets old for the sellers and real old for the buyers who have put in at least 10 offers on short sales. Then they wait and wait and wait for the investor to get back with them. I have to say, with me you don't just wait, I keep you informed. I am all over those banks like stink on .... well you get the picture. If there are two mortgages... well that is another beast. I can say that over the last few years a lot of the banks have gotten it together. They only work with one offer/ buyer  this speeds the process up. If you have good, patient clients, who listen to you for the most part and get you ALL of the documents the bank asks for... that really helps too. In this case these clients were more then patient and did everything I asked of them. What do you know, after 8 offers it worked.

Actual File

For privacy and such I am not allowed to go into all of details. BUT this file was insane. We had HOA liens that had NOTHING to do with the seller, and some lawyers that in my opinion got paid a lot of money for twiddling their thumbs, seriously!! The bank/ 3rd party was awesome and so was my escrow officer Bridgett Ellis at Monument Title (Yes, that was a plug). Until her underwriter decided they could not and should not insure this title. Aargh... you could have said something a little sooner then 2 days before closing!!We had to start all over again. This time we had to use a title company I would NEVER use again. Because I am a business owner and I don't support bad publicity, I won't mention names. I must say though if you ask to use this certain title company or bring their name up in passing, I will tell you just how I feel. It's not good.Not good allllllllll the way to the ending. Yes, I mean funding and recording and wiring... seriously woman!! I will say though, they got it done... in their own time... they let a buyer walk and then come back.... they got it done. For that I say THANK YOU, for all parties involved. Especially my totally awesome seller. Congratulations and well wishes for the next chapter in life, I hope to see you soon.

So where do eyelashes come in?? See I was getting ready for the closing today. While putting on my mascara I realized my eyelashes looked ridiculous. I was born with some great eyelashes. But my sister in law started a business where she applies lash extensions. I am not going to lie, they were amazing. I really had a love affair with them. Being as emotional as I am, I could cry anytime and there was never the icky, black smudge rolling down my face. I would wake up in the morning and know I just looked fabulous. Lets not mention when I ran the Wasatch Back Ragnar, yeah I looked pretty fly. 

Look at those Beauties

Because I had worn them for 6 months give or take and some unforeseen circumstances... I no longer have these amazing lashes. BUT stubby eyelashes will not do. I know that is vain and I should love myself just the way God made me.... and I will once these baby lashes grow out (typical sinner right?). For now its all about the falsies baby!! 

Poor baby lashes

So for those of you who want amazing eyelashes but don't want to spend the dough, or you don't want to lay on your back while each individual lash is placed perfectly, just. for. you, or you just want to be like me and spice it up a bit (as my oldest punk once told some very dear friends of mine). Then read ahead and I am going to show you how to place a fabulous band of false lashes.

 Gather your supplies

.

Apply your makeup just the way you want it. I use dark liner to hide the band. Poor baby lashes.

Just so you know the eyelashes that come in the package are placed left to right. So if you put them in front of you this is how it would look. This is how you apply them.The one missing is for my right eye. Understand?

They are a little sticky when you first gently pull them off the package. This allows you to play with them a little. Place them where you want. See this one wants to fall off.

Then gently apply the glue. This is where the handy dandy toothpick comes in. I use it to spread the glue. You have to let the glue set for about 30-60 seconds. You want it tacky so that it will stick to your eye. Not slide around. 

I have to use my fingers and some pointy tweezers to get them on just right. Get them really close to the lash line. Key point: use the tweezers to apply a little pressure on the flasies at the center and both corners of the lash line. 

See the difference?

Poor baby lashes.